Thursday, February 28, 2013

Week 11: Flare 3...ish

2.17.13 Day 71 - 2.23.l3 Day 77: This week is all combined since nothing has really changed. Hands are still pink and wrinkly looking. Face and neck get progressively dryer for a few days then I am able to scrape off the dead skin in the shower. The bumps I had on my stomach a bit ago only lasted a few days and then went away.

On the 19th my pillow case was itchy against my ears and I woke up in the morning (20th) with a swollen eye which is the exact thing that preceded the other two flares. My cheeks and neck turned pink (not nearly as red as I have been in the past) then faded back into the cycle of becoming dry and scraping the dead skin off in the shower. I guess I will call this flare number three.

Natalie Dee knows exactly how I feel 

**I will post pictures as soon as I am home long enough to upload. A 40 hr/wk internship and 30 hr/wk job haven't given me much time to myself.

Song of the Week: Because all of us going through topical steroid withdrawal dream of the paradise at the end of this hell. (also, I definitely saw this song on another "skin friend's" blog and had to share it) "Life goes on, it gets so heavy. The wheel breaks the butterfly. Every tear, a waterfall. In the night, the stormy night. She closed her eyes. In the night, the stormy night, away she'd fly. And dreamed of Paradise. She dreamed of paradise. So lying underneath those stormy skies. She said I know the sun must set to rise. This could be paradise." - Coldplay, Paradise

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Week 10: What Not To Do During TSW

2.10.13 Day 64: Face and neck are still looking a little dry. Hands are still red/pink. Body just feels dry and uncomfortable when I move around or first get into bed. It just feels like I have really dry skin. I have been really tired and have had an extremely hard time getting out of bed lately and couldn't decide if it was just my TSW or a cold. Decided today that it's a cold :(

2.11.13 Day 65: Stayed home in bed with my cold. I did get in a good season and a half of the Walking Dead though :)

2.12.13 Day 66: Skin feels the same. More of the same today, just laying in bed and watching netflix.

2.13.13 Day 67: Today was the first day back to my internship at a resort since I was sick. I spent the day in the housekeeping department doing laundry....with regular detergent, not my special scent free/dye free kind. After ironing and folding what felt like a million cloth napkins my hands were looking pretty red.

2.14.13 Day 68: Happy Valentines Day! Day 2 with housekeeping. Today I went in all of the guestrooms and replenished their mini bars. Hands were a little itchy but not too bad. Ethan and I exchanged goodies, had dinner together (which we never get to do lately), I gorged on chocolates, then  curled up in a ball with a stomach ache the rest of the night. Overall, I would say Valentines Day was a success.

2.15.13 Day 69: The following is what you should never do while going through TSW: Went into the housekeeping department at 8am. Did linen inventory for one hour (aka stood in small closets surrounded by super smelly cleaning chemicals, touching towels washed with regular detergent). 9am folded towels also washed with regular detergent, in a room that smelled like detergent. 9:10 really start to get itchy, hands are bright red. 9:15 rinse hands and forearms in cold water and stand outside to cool off. 9:20 get reassigned to do mini bar instead, itch just spreads all over, hands and now forearms are super red. 9:30 in my car driving home crying my eyes out because I itch and burn everywhere. Took a shower and spent the rest of the day in a benadryl induced haze. I lasted approximately 14.5 hours in housekeeping.

2.16.13 Day 70: feeling much better than yesterday. I am basically at the same place I was two weeks ago:
  • face and neck are dry and a lot of skin comes off in the shower, still red on my eyelids
  • hands are still red, dry, and wrinkly looking
  • forearms are still a little pink
  • body just feels dry and uncomfortable
I feel so good compared to the very begining of my withdrawl. I am starting to feel impatient now that I have been stagnant for two weeks. I just want to work out and wear makeup, is that so much to ask for?

A coworker did comment that I seem much happier and healthier than I did in the first two months of withdrawl. Looking back, I must have looked like a total wreck. My hair was always in a sloppy bun on top of my head because no matter how much I washed it it always looked greasy from the olive oil baths and the excessive lotion on my face, neck, and shoulders. I had to wrap gauze around my neck so that I wouldn't rub it raw, I was always freezing so I would layer sweatshirts under my work clothes, I smelled like olive oil/ooze/dead skin no matter how much I bathed, and I would just sit at the front desk and count down until I could go home and cry in the bath.

I am so thankful that I am not in that place right now and I hope that I never have to go back.

*Pictures to come...I am really getting behind

Song of the Week: "Everybody stares as she goes by cause they can see the flame that's in her eyes. Watch when she's lighting up the night. Nobody knows that she's a lonely girl, and it's a lonely world. But she gon' let it burn, baby, burn, baby, burn, baby....she's just a girl and she's on fire. - Alicial Keys, Girl on Fire. Because my skin literally feels like it is on fire. 

Week 9: Monotony

2.3.13 Day 57 - 2.9.13 Day 63: This week has been a lot of the same (which is absolutely fine with me). I have been "exfoliating" my face each day (aka scratching off the dead skin in the shower). It is insane how much skin I have lost on my face and that there is any left at all at this point. My face did switch from bigger more visible flakes to just a dry look by the end of the week. I did eventually cool it on the "exfoliating" at the end of the week because my face started getting red.

*Pictures to come

Song of the Week: "I am aware, I've been misled. I disconnect my heart, my head. Don't wanna recognize when things go bad. The things that you'll accept, except that I am finding the say I'm ready, I'm ready to drop. I'm ready, I'm ready so don't stop." - Jack's Mannequin, I'm Ready

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Week 8: Two Months Down and Feeling Good

1.28.13 Day 51: Arms are still pink and hands are still marked with scratches and wrinkles but feeling good. :)

1.29.13 Day 52: Chanced some makeup today since my face has been so smooth and clear lately. It felt fine all day and I didn't have any problems.
Hands look pruny all the time

1.30.13 Day 53: WARNING: DO NOT USE MAKEUP UNTIL YOU ARE TOTALLY DONE HEALING. My mineral makeup felt fine all day yesterday, so maybe it was the face wash I used to take it off that caused my face to swell and become red and irritated. OR, maybe it was just a coincidence and this is just part of the cycle. Sigh...

1.31.13 Day 54: I have been feeling fine when going to bed but waking up around 3am the past few nights and scratching like crazy all over. Poor Ethan gets woken up by all my scratching too before he gets up at 5.

2.1.13 Day 55: Face is visibly dry and hands are still red and wrinkly, but overall still feeling good. I took benadryl last night and slept like a baby but Ethan informed me that I was still scratching like a crazy person.

Song of the Week: 
"There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back. Well tell her that I miss our little talks. Soon it will be over and buried with out past. We used to play outside when we were young and full of life and full of love...Cause though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore" - Of Monsters and Men, Little Talks